Thursday, November 24, 2016

Sweet Surrender

I am linking up for Five Minute Friday.  The FMF is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Today's prompt is "surrender." We'd love to have you join us.  Just hop onto Twitter on Thursday evenings and follow the #fmfparty. Hope to see you there! 

A story locked deep inside my heart. 18 years of my life passed by before I finally told it to the world. A story of my own families brokenness; Our own story of mental illness. 

I sat in the dorm room at camp when the camp director came in and asked me what was wrong. The floodgates opened and the words finally surrendered. I began to tell our story. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. I'll never forget the feeling of sweet release as I told our story. A moment of sweet surrender that is so much of who I am--the daughter of a woman who lives daily with a mental illness.

In this sweet surrender, I now cannot not tell our story. It is who and whose I am; Tara, Sandy's daughter; beloved, broken, blessed child of God. And when I finally surrender to that title and name, the words began to pour out into this space and have been poured out into my first self published book. It is hard to believe it has been six months already since I self-published that book.

There is something so incredibly holy about surrendering to who and whose we are. There is even more holiness when we tell the truth of our own brokenness and our own stories. It tells a lot about our identity and our passions in life. It reminds us of the joy and freedom and gift that comes when we finally surrender to God and to ourselves.  

Sweet surrender that breaks open the doors and windows of our soul through surrendered words; surrendered words through written and vocal words. 

12 comments:

  1. Wow, Tara. This is just great, just perfect. Your gracious honesty here is just awesome.

    #4 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/11/your-dying-spouse-237-no-surrender.html

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  2. Oh wow. Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I am going to look for your book. :)

    Visiting from Five Minute Friday. I'm #6 this week.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

    Blessings and joy,
    Rachel

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    1. Rachel, you can find it on CreateSpace and Amazon. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. Thanks for stopping by.

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  3. This is beautiful. There is a sweetness and a holiness to surrender.

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    1. Thank You! And yes there is!

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  4. Yes, indeed, there is! Keep on talking, so hopefully more and more people will read, understand, and tell their own or their family's story. Yet when I cautiously keep trying to tell my own story of a mis-diagnosis of a serious mental illness and subsequent lost years (though we all know God wastes none of our experiences), people have judged and avoided me, sometimes reacted in fear, probably because it's about me, the person in front of them, and not about a friend or family member they haven't met. I've mentioned part of the irony of my history is I actually do have several disorders (claustrophobia, panic disorder, "something OCD-ish" that easily meet DSM diagnostic criteria), but schizophrenia is one of the scariest words, yet there's little point in talking around the edges of our experiences rather than reaching and acknowledging their painful heart.

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    1. Exactly! I am sorry you have struggled so much with your own story. Hugs!

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  5. Oh this: "There is even more holiness when we tell the truth of our own brokenness and our own stories" - so true, my friend. And you tell it beautifully here, Tara. Thank you for your transparency and open heart. In the sharing of your story may others read and find courage to share their own. Off to check out your book... :) xo

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    1. Right?!? And thank you! xo

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