Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Beauty out of Brokenness

Have there been times in your life when you have just wanted to scream enough? Or perhaps a time when you tried to make sense out of what was happening in life? I know, that for me, it has probably been more times than I have cared to admit. In fact, throughout our journey with a mental illness, there have been times many times when I have questioned God. And lately, in the midst of too many cancer diagnoses, it is a question that I keep asking over and over and over again.

As a woman of faith, my faith is something that I always cling to and hold on too. But when I begin asking those hard questions, I wonder if I am being a very good christian at all. But then I am reminded that like Jacob, we have a God we can wrestle with. God sees us as both saints and sinners.  For me, knowing that I am able to give myself grace when all I want to do is scream and cry and continually ask God "Why?" is a gift only God can give me and all of us in the midst  of our hard questions.

Earlier today, I was listening to my Pandora station when the song "Beautiful Things" by Gungor came on. The first stanza reads "All this pain; I wonder if I'll ever find my way; I wonder if my life could really change at all; All this earth; Could all that is lost ever be found; Could a garden come up from this ground at all." From the first time I heard that song, its words have held a special place in my heart and today they brought me such sweet comfort. Because God does take dust and make it into beautiful things.

As my friend Laura lives her last days on this earth, I am reminded that soon she will be free from all that ails her (as she reminded us in her latest carepages post). I am reminded of the many lives that she has touched including mine and so many others. But as I am reminded of these gifts, I also can't help but be frustrated and sad. It doesn't seem fair that Laura's daughters will lose two parents to cancer. But the thing is that cancer does not discriminate. It attacks who it will.

Yet God has this amazing way of taking dust and turning into beautiful things. Most of the time, it is like a deep fog that we cannot see through. But in time, God takes the deep fog, lifts the fog and reveals to us a magnificent rainbow. God reveals the beauty out of the brokenness. 

God indeed, "You make beautiful things out of dust. You make beautiful things out of us!"


Today I am linking up with my favorites; Holly and Testimony Tuesday, Kelly and the RaRa Linkup, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Tell His Story and Holley Gerth and Coffee for your Heart.

 



18 comments:

  1. Oh Tara! My heart hurts with yours and for all those who are going through life's major challenges. I think we are showing our humanness when we ask "why". We need to ask those hard questions so we can continue to walk forward in faith. Please know I have felt like you and have asked the hard "whys". Also know I will be praying as you walk with your friend, Laura, through her final days. Blessings and hugs!

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    1. It really is showing our humanness when we ask those questions. The prayers are so much appreciated. Blessings and hugs back to you too!

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  2. I'm so sorry that your friend is losing her battle. May god give you the strengh tha tyou need to bring comfort to her and her daughters as they make this final journey together. You are her friend for a reason.

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    1. We all are sad that she's losing her battle too. Thanks for your kind words.

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  3. Hi Tara, I'm visiting from Kelly's #RaRaLinkup. What a beautiful testimony, Tara. Thank you for being a light for all those in the midst of suffering. I love what you said, "I wonder if I am being a very good christian at all." I think so many of us struggle with that emotion. What a beautiful way you lead us away from that wonder and to the truth of our wonderful God. Praying for you tonight, Tara!

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    1. Thanks Katy! I think you're right we all struggle with that emotion at one time or another. Thanks for the prayers. They are so greatly appreciated.

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  4. Tara, we had a guest pastor preach a sermon on wrestling with God. He told us that it is in the wrestling that we draw closest to God, as we dare to be ourselves before Him and he told us that he thinks often God is waiting for us to get real with Him, to stop pretending to be pious and tell Him just how we feel. He pointed out that parents do the same with their kids: when they learn to walk they don't chastise them as they fall, yet lovingly, reassuringly encourage them further. Letting us falll to help us grow.

    Hugs to you today from afar and praying you and all those dear to Laura, and especially her children, feel God's strong arms around you.

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    1. Anna, I'm thankful we have a God we can wrestle with. Thanks for the hugs and prayers.

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  5. Tara, your heart is hurting and I feel the pain. Anita says it best, "you are her friend for a reason." (((xo)))

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  6. Yes, Tara, there are so many things we don't understand and just want to scream. I know I've been there. But, like you, my faith is strong and I know God sees the whole picture whereas my view is limited. I have to trust that He is good and knows what He is doing. I love that song by Gungor. I've loved it from the first time I heard it. :) Blessings and peace to you, dear sister.

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    1. I've loved it from the time I first heard it too. Blessings and peace to you too!

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  7. beautiful, true words, and thanks for posting this wonderful song again! hugs and hope to all of us ;)

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    1. Hugs and hope to you too!

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  8. I'm praying for peace for you Tara. Life this side of Heaven is tough to understand. I'm so glad God knows our hearts and walks through these hard places with us.

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    1. Thanks Laura! I too am glad that God understands and knows our hearts too,

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  9. Oh my friend! I have been praying for you, and your sweet friend Laura! I, too, adore this song!

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