Thursday, April 23, 2015

Hidden Tears (Five Minute Friday)

I am linking up for the Five Minute Friday. The FMF is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Today's prompt is "Hide." Write for five minutes; unedited.

When I was a teenager, my sister and I babysat for some of our favorite little girls. Their mom and her sister used to babysit for us and then we started babysitting for her kids when she had kids. I remember McKenzie coming to my dad's house and often wanting to hide behind my sister and I. We couldn't figure out why she was afraid to go downstairs in our basement. One day it dawned on us that she was afraid of the deer head that our dad had mounted on the wall.

Isn't it crazy how we want to hide when things are unfamiliar to us? Or how we hide because we don't want to show that side of ourselves to those around us? As a little girl, I often would shed many tears because of the words that were slung at me; the names that I was called. But the tears always came! I couldn't hide them from the people that were slinging names at me. In a way, I felt that they were winning because I couldn't hide those words.

But one of the biggest things that I hid from others was our family's journey with a mental illness. It took me a very very long time before I brought our story out of hiding. But once I began sharing our story, many other stories came out of hiding too. There is so much power in those two words "me too!" Stories are meant to be shared. They are not meant to be hidden. They reveal a big part of who we are; of who God calls us to be.

*Yet there are still times when it is hard for me to share my story. There are still tears that I want to hide. There are the tears that silently fall from my eyes when I am not sure that God has heard the desires of my heart. There are the tears that I secretly shed when I come home to an empty house and bed. There are the tears that I want to hide because I don't want the world to see how vulnerable I am. Yet there is something so holy about no longer hiding our tears. There is something healing when we show our tears to each other.

*That is where my five minutes stopped but I had to finish out my thought.

14 comments:

  1. There is something healing and therapeutic about sharing tears with others who you know care about you. Friends who will listen and pray with you and just be by your side in the happy and sad times. I loved this five minute Friday post friend. - Jolene

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    1. You know, you are right. Sharing tears with others can indeed be healing and therapeutic. Glad you loved this post!

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  2. I am glad you finished the thought. A burden shared is a burden lightened.

    It was hard for me to be forthcoming about my illness, but the only way to really give it meaning IS to share it, to let the hardest truths see the light of day.

    Here from FMF.

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    1. I am glad that I finished the thought too. A burden shared is indeed a burden lightened. I am thankful that you are sharing your illness and your journey with us, Andrew! Thanks for stopping by.

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  3. Love this... and you... and your brave in sharing the tears and the story!

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    1. Awww! Love you too friend!

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  4. There IS power in "Me, too." It's a gift to be vulnerable with each other...and it's a gift when you encourage others to take that chance. Thanks for sharing your words, Tara. (Visiting you from FMF.)

    Abbey @ Surviving Our Blessings

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    1. There is indeed so much power in "Me, too." Thanks for visiting, Abbey!

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  5. Hello from Five Minute Friday! I'm with you there. There's a history of mental illness in my family and I was diagnosed with major depression in November. As a youth pastor's wife, it is hard to let these things in the light for fear of judgement. But over time I have educated people on my journal. I appreciate your honesty.

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    1. Oh Sam, I am so glad that you stopped by. Please know that you are in my prayers as you deal with your depression. I work at a church and understand how scary it can be to share who we are with the world and to be afraid of how others will judge. I am glad that you appreciate my honesty!

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  6. Amen--shared stories make it easier to live in the open! Thank you for your bravery :).

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  7. Loved this. There's so much fear in my own heart... like what's a good, God given ability to protect my mind and body, is also affected by sin and turned into fear and hiding of who I am... as if I could manipulate others into liking a better version of me. Learning this much lately! Thank you for such a thoughtful post

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    1. You are welcome for the thoughtful post. Glad you stopped by.

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