Friday, October 31, 2014

Giving Thanks For These 31 Days

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope."--Thomas Merton

"Say yes to the situations that stretch you and scare you and ask you to be a better you than you think you can be."--Annie Downs; Lets All Be Brave, P. 107 (These two quotes capture my feelings of how I have felt during these 31 days. I was definetely extremely afraid to share my story but I felt the need to share our story!)

Well here we are...the 31st day of October...meaning it is also Day 31 of the #write31 days challenge. When I dove in and took this journey, I never imagined the ways it would stretch me, would bless me and would introduce me to so many amazing blogs and writers. (Yes, I indeed did call you each a writer because you are!)

There is so much I want to say to each of you. I never thought that by being vulnerable and sharing my story, I would impact so many people. It is amazing to me how this whole process has introduced me to so many amazing friends. I have always commented how sometimes you meet people and it is like you have been friends FOREVER. I feel that way about so many of you! I hope that someday we get the opportunity to meet InRL.

I am reminded of a word "eucharisto." It is a word that my colleague shared with me a year ago in his sermon on the day I shared with the congregation that I was leaving and had accepted a new call. In that sermon, my colleague talked about listing our blessings and thanking God for all the things God gives us. He later told us that the word in the text for "thanksgiving" is translated "Eucharisto." As I sat there and listened to his sermon, I found myself reflecting on that word. And today I find myself clinging to that word again.

As I sit here this morning and reflect on the last 31 days, I find myself once again clinging to that word "eucharisto." This write31 days community has blessed me in more ways than I can count or even imagine! Today I am so very thankful for each and every one of you; for you who shared your stories with me, for you who told me how my story blessed you, and for each of you who ventured to participate in this challenge. So today I am uttering these words back to you my dear friends, "eucharisto!"

And as I give thanks for each of you, I am also very thankful for my momma. She has been through so much. Yet she is one of the most beautiful faith-filled women that I know. Our story of mental illness will always be a part of who my mom is and who my family is. I hope that through these 31 days, I have been able to let so many know they are not alone. I also hope that I have been able to share our story and shatter, at least, some of the stigma associated with mental illness. Thank you for reading my story and walking with us through these 31 days because I am a daughter; a daughter of someone who daily lives and struggles with a mental illness. And the truth is I will always be that daughter.

I want to close with a Psalm. This Psalm has become one of my favorite Psalms. I think it captures so well how I feel about our journey with mental illness. I think most specifically of this verse in the New Revised Standard Translation, "Weeping may come for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Yes, there have been many tears throughout our journey, but there have also been times of great joy as well.

"I give you all the credit, God--you got me out of that mess, you didn't let my foes gloat. God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down and out. All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God! Thank him to his face! He gets angry once in awhile, but across a lifetime there is only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter. When things were going great I crowed, 'I've got it made. I'm God's favorite. He made me king of the mountain.' Then you looked the other way and I fell to pieces. I called out to you, O  God; I laid my care before you: 'Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead? Auction me off at a cemetary yard sale? When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs and stories of you won't sell. So listen! And be kind! Help me out of this! You did it! You changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough."--Psalm 30 (The Message Translation)


8 comments:

  1. Congrats on finishing the writing challenge! Thank you for the inspiration!

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  2. You made it! Congratulations! I love that Psalm as well, but I'd never heard that translation. Thank you for sharing it.

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  3. Thank you for sharing your heart these 31 days.

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  4. I love that first quote (the psalm is wonderful as well). It's good that God knows where our future is going, even when we don't! I noticed you are from North Dakota--so am I! From the Eastern half of the state :)

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  5. I loved everything about this post. (Though I have got to ask - have you not read 1000 gifts yet? It's by Ann VosKamp - you so totally should. It's all about eucharisto and gratitude and listing gifts) I have loved "meeting" so many awesome fellow-travelers. Our stories have all been different but have all pointed to the same faithful God. I have especially loved interacting in the Facebook group! Thank you for being brave.

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  6. Congrats on finishing strong, fellow 31 Dayer! It was my first year doing it too and it was amazing.

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  7. Woot! Woot! You made it! Thank you for sharing your experience so that others might have hope and come to understand a little bit more about mental illness. May God continue to bless you and your family.

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  8. So thrilled to see you cross the finish line (and to have done so myself). Tara, I love that you are giving thanks… even thanks for the hard things that your momma has faced and the way they have shaped you. To me, this is the core of Romans 8:28. I'm glad that she has you, that you have her, and that you both have God (and He has you!). Glad to have found you.

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