Sunday, April 28, 2013

A Safe Place

Anyone who knows me knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve? Yet there are times when I don't always feel like that is the right time or place to wear my heart on my sleeve. However what I have come to realize is that my blog is a safe place...a safe place to lay my heart out on the table. I'm not always sure that I do that here though. My dear friend Anna who blogs over at Girl With Blog has opened my eyes to seeing my blog as that safe place. She has been so open and honest on her blog like we are standing in her backyard chatting over a white picket fence. :)

My purpose in blogging tonight isn't to discredit the absolute joy several of my friends are feeling this week. Rather it is to share in that joy while also grieving that it hasn't happened for me yet. Two of my dear friends from when I worked at SuperAwesomeBibleCamp got engaged this week. A couple weeks ago a high school classmate also got engaged. Honestly I want to share in their joy yet there is a part of me that has a hard time doing that. I think of my friends who have struggled having children and others around them aren't struggling to have another child at all. I know it's not the same thing but I think those feelings are probably very similar to what I feel.

As a 34 1/2 year old woman, I am so ready; so ready to settle down and have a family. Yet I also don't want to rush into it either. I trust God will bring that person into my life when the time is right. However a lot of the time my inner three year old wants to come out; my inner three year old that wants to lay on the floor kicking and screaming because I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT! (Can you picture it now?)Now I realize that is probably childish and I in no way have ever or will ever do that. Yet I have yearned for Mr. Right, for a family, etc for as long as I can remember. So tonight I ask you my faithful readers; my on-line friends; to help support me as I continue on this journey. Grab a glass of wine or whatever your drink of choice is this evening, find yourself a snack and let's sit back and support each other--let us wipe each other's tears but also let us laugh and rejoice together!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Spring has Sprung Friday Five

1. What spring flowers and plants do you see? Or will see sometime in the future? I don't see many flowers yet! However hopefully we wil lsee some soon since Spring seems to have finally sprung today!

2. What kinds of weather are you experiencing in April? Snow, rain etc. However today the sun is shining.

3. What are the stereotypical harbingers of spring in your area? How about where you grew up? Around here one of the signs that spring has sprung is seeing the Red River rise. It never seems to fail that around here around this time of year brings about sandbags, road closed signs and so much more. Fall where I grew up brings about baby calves. I loved bottle feeding them when I was little and still enjoying it when I am home.

4. What season do you like best in your home area? I like that we have four distinct seasons!

5. What is sprouting or blooming in your life? What do you wish for? A new friendship is possibly blooming in my life. We will see where it goes. I wish for God to bring Mr. Right into my life.

Hope you are also enjoying a beautiful Spring day today!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Peace Be With You

"Peace be with you" These are the words we hear from Jesus as he comes to those behind locked doors. Jesus is the one who offers hope, healing, and peace. I don't know about you but after this week, I know Jesus' words are true yet I am having a hard time clinging to them tonight. A bombing in the midst of the Boston Marathon, a fertilizer plant explosion in West TX, lock-down in Watertown MA. And that's only this week.......Sandy Hook, Aurora CO and so much more since this past year as well. And there is so much more....earthquakes, Malaria, and a lot more all over the world.

My heart is aching. I have a hard time watching the news or turning open a newspaper on most days. But this week it is even more difficult. My heart aches...aches for those who have lost loved ones, my heart aches for a freedom that has been lost and violated, my heart aches for all that is happening in the world. And even in the midst of what is happening around the world, there is much happening around here as well. Those aching for a lost friend or family member...those aching for the pain that life brings us..those aching as they find themselves behind locked doors tonight.

Yesterday, in the midst of a crazy week and gathered with beloved friends, I found myself shedding tears...tears that I needed to shed...tears that I didn't even realize where there until that moment. I am thankful for those friends and that holy space for allowing the tears to just come and not to apologize for them (Thank you for that my friends!) Tears for me are my sighs when the world is happening and I don't know or can't find the words to express my thoughts.---With sighs too deep for words!"

The truth is that even as life happens around us, God sends Jesus as the one who brings peace even when we aren't sure that peace can be brought about. Let us cling to those words that Jesus declared to the disciples behind locked doors and daily proclaims to us, "Peace be with you!" And may we also declare them to each other especially when we are afraid, when we arent sure what to say, and knowing that we are called and claimed children of God.

"Peace be with you...."

A Much Needed Healing Friday Five

"Deb over at RevGalBlogPals writes, "I am an enthusiastic newspaper reader. Lately, however, world events have made it hard to read and process the pain in the world around me. Perhaps you have struggled with this, too.

So, with the events of the violence and tragedy from the Boston Marathon fresh in our memories, I thought it would be good for us to focus on where as RevGalBlogPals, we find healing, peace and strengthening. As a chaplain, there are days where I never seem to catch my breath, and invariably, those are the days that I need it the most! So with all this in mind, share with us these healing things"

I think many of us are in need of a healing space today and this week. So here's my fave healing spaces:

1. A piece of music--There is so much music that is healing for me. But one of the most healing pieces of music for me is Ben Larson's version of Psalm 30. Ben lost his life in the Haiti earthquake and this is the song of his we used during a worship service the night we found out he was gone. Click on this link to listen to the song: Mourning into Dancing.

2. A place---Super Awesome Bible Camp, spending time in the Rocky Mountains, spending time on the prairies of NoDak



3. A favorite food (they call it "comfort food" for a reason---I am such a German girl. Knoephla, Dumplings, Strudels, Kuechen, just about anything German. I also love Mexican food.

4. A recreational pastime (that you watch or participate in---Zumba, spending time with friends and family, watching my guilty pleasure tv shows etc

5. A poem, Scripture passage or other literature that speaks to comfort you. "Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lords"

BONUS: People, animals, friends, family - share a picture of one or many of these who warm your heart. There are so many people that warm my heart. I wish I could post a pic of them all. Love you all and you all know who you are! My friend Carrie and I at our friend Ben's wedding

"

Monday, April 08, 2013

Seeing with Eyes of Faith

This song has been playing in my head today. Brandon Heath's "Give Me Your Eyes!" I used it yesterday in my sermon. To read the full sermon, you can visit my writing blog. Seeing and Believing Sermon. Enjoy!

Friday, April 05, 2013

Post-Easter Friday Five

This Friday Five is pretty simple:

1. What, if anything, are you doing to take your Easter season sabbath? Family? Vacation? Study Leave? Some combination of all three? My colleague told me to take a few days so I took Mon and Tuesday of this week. I was going to go stay at a hotel and swim etc but instead decided to just stick around here. I even booked a spa appointment for myself. A facial, sleep, watching crazy tv. I have never had a facial and it was glorious!

2. What is your favorite Easter season sabbath of all time? When I went to my seminary classes retread (3 year reunion).

3. If you're not taking an Easter season sabbath, what is drawing your attention as the Revised Common Lectionary bids us bide awhile with Thomas and gang? Is there a Holy Hilarity service in your future? Hmmm....Im not sure. I keep thinking about how Thomas doubted at first. How often do we too doubt? What do we see or what has been seen by others before us? Just some thoughts...can you tell Im preaching this week?!

4. What would be your ideal Easter season sabbath? If you could go anywhere, do anything, with anybody? Getting to spend it with my fave people----family and friends!

5. Tell the truth now: Any Easter candy left? Yes...some coconut M and Ms and Jelly Beans

Monday, April 01, 2013

Post-Easter Sabbath

Can you believe Lent is over and that we began the season of Easter yesterday? Holy Week was crazy! I don't know if it was the full moon or what. We survived! My colleague suggested I run away and/or take a few days of Sabbath. I took him up on it. I didn't run very far but it has been glorious. Sleeping in, watching tv, napping, napping and more napping. I even booked a facial tomorrow at a local spa. I have never done one but am looking forward to it.

It's amazing how a little Sabbath can truly make a difference. Thank you to my dear colleague for the suggestion and encouragement. I hope my friends who work in the church have found some post-Easter Sabbath too! How do you like to spend extended days of Sabbath? What do you do for yourself?