Tonight I was roaming around on FB when I came across a conversation that really got me thinking especially a question that this person put before us. This individual was sharing how they often feel like they try so hard to reach the desired outcome and when it doesn't happen, they wonder in bewilderment at how anyone would ever love them. I don't think this individual's thoughts are uncommon. I think there are times when we all question our worthiness.
I think we all try so hard and yet when things don't work out or happen the way we would like them too we start to question ourselves. Many of you, my readers, know that there are certain things that I have prayed for and still yearn for in my life yet they haven't happened for me. And yes, there are times when I wonder WHY it hasn't happened for me. What is it about me; about my imperfections, that these things haven't happened for me yet? There are times that I truly feel like I am pleading with God! And I don't think I am alone here...I think many of us at times have found ourselves pleading with God. (I don't know about you but sometimes it feels like being picked last for the team during PE in school. And that is not a feeling I like!)
Yet the thing is that God's grace is sufficient for us all. I also know that as a good Lutheran, I am simultaneously both "saint and sinner." In other words, I am not perfect...none of us are perfect. And I also believe that we often grow from our own life circumstances. My mom has taught me so much about faith and life! She is one of the most faithfilled women that I know and yet she has lived most of my life battling a mental illness. Through her example, God has shown me God's grace and God's love. I swear she would probably give the shirt off of her back if asked!
I may not be perfect, but God has shown me that despite my imperfections that I am lovable. God has shown us all that we are lovable...even when that is not so easy for us to see ourselves. But God places people in our lives so we will be "blessed to be a blessing." I am reminded of a conversation I had today with a member from the congregation I just left. She was calling to get my new address and something she said caught me. She said, "Make sure they love you as much as we did/we do!" I also have noticed that as I have been welcomed at this new call and as I said goodbye to the last call. All I can say is Wow...humbling...a reminder that no matter what...I am loved! And you too my friends, you are LOVED too...even when it doesn't feel like you are lovable! That is the beauty of God's grace...you do nothing to earn it. It is just freely given to you.
I'll be honest I think it is so easy for us to be hard on ourselves. But the truth is people see things in us that we don't always see in ourselves. Another sign of the beauty of God's grace. So my friends when you are having a hard day and feeling unlovable, please know and remember that YOU ARE LOVED!
Goodnight my friends!