Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I Think I Can (and Other Musings)

I think I can....
I think I can....
I think I can....

Yep when I started this challenge at the beginning of the month I thought no problem, I should be able to think of something to blog about every day. Little did I realize how crazy this month would be! Packing boxes, finishing up a call, moving, unpacking boxes, starting a new call...and somehow I have found a way to blog about something every day. Yet tonight I feel like the little engine that could---I think I can...I think I can...I think can. Hopefully I can make it the next few days until Sunday December 1st.

Ever since I can remember I have loved to write. My mom said she used to give me a pen and a piece of paper when I was little and I was a happy camper. There is something incredibly holy about sitting and writing for me. Yet taking on this challenge has pushed my limits! I wonder at all if I have anything to say. I watch my blogger tracker so I know that people are reading my blogs. But there is a deep part of me that watches for people to comment on my blog. Something about the comments seems to validate my post which I know isn't the case at all. And so I still wonder if I have anything to say at all!

It's kind of like when I preach. I NEVER felt the call to be an ordained minister. I knew that I didn't want to preach every week. And I have incredible respect for those who do! Over the years at DLC, my colleague and I came to an agreement and I preached once a month. I will be honest...I was scared to death the first time that I preached a sermon. I didn't think I had ANYTHING to say at all so I put all my trust in the Holy Spirit. If I were to go back and listen to that first sermon, I know that I would cringe. Yet over the course of the six years, I know that I have grown immensely in my preaching due to the power of the Holy Spirit. And I only say that because of the people who have made comments and told me how they were touched by one of my sermons. It definitely hasn't been about me!  (And I secretly enjoy writing and (sometimes) preaching my sermons. I am still glad that I don't have to do it weekly!)

For me, writing has always been important. It has helped me share about my family's struggles with mental illness. It has been my way of praying...when I can't seem to get the words out and lifted up to God in any other way. Writing has opened a window to my heart and to my soul in so many ways. I may not always post a blog post because it truly is difficult to post a blog post every day. Harder than I ever imagined! Yet this blog is a way for me to put my thoughts out there, to share a piece of me with you my readers, without holding back who I am and/or what I have to say.

I know I can...
I know I can...
I know I can...

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