Anyone who has read this blog before knows that my heart is so ready for someone to love. It is so ready to meet Mr. Right and have a family. And it is so ready to be loved by that special someone.
I am at that point in my life where everyone around me is married, having their 1st, 2nd, and 3rd children or is engaged. I am so truly happy for my friends yet it is so very difficult at the same time. Ever since I can remember I've wanted to be a wife and mom. I did learn from the best. Even living with a mental illness most of my life, my mom is one of the most amazing woman in the world. I someday hope that I am at least half the wife and mother she has been.
I yearn so much for these things in my life. I have wonderful amazing guy friends yet I have not found that special someone. There is the brother I always wanted who has been a blessing in my life. Since getting married, we haven't been able to keep in touch like we used too. And there is a dear guy friend in my life who is going through his own struggles. He is someone that I can talk to openly and honestly about anything and everything, yet I know he is grieving the loss of his marriage so I am trying to simply be a good friend. Yet part of me wonders what God might have in store for us. I know that if it is meant to be, it will happen BUT that is so much easier said than done.
I trust that this will happen in God's timing and not my own. But that too is so much easier said than done. At 35 years old, I am so ready. Some of my friends have tried to talk me into doing foster care or adopting. I have prayed about it for a long time. And really think that I could see myself doing it sooner rather than later if that is what the Holy Spirit has in store for me. Perhaps that is how I am meant to be a mom! I know it won't be easy but I believe and trust that God would place people into my life that would walk with me on this journey.
This is something I yearn so deeply for and I find myself blogging about it so often. There is something about writing my thoughts down and putting it out there. I just wish that my prayers, my yearnings, my longings would come true...sooner rather than later.
For now, I trust in the one who calls and claims me as a beloved child of God. For now, I trust in the one who promises to never leave us or forsake us. For now, I trust that it will happen in God's timing and not my own.