Thursday, November 14, 2013

A Heart Ready To Love

Anyone who has read this blog before knows that my heart is so ready for someone to love. It is so ready to meet Mr. Right and have a family. And it is so ready to be loved by that special someone.

I am at that point in my life where everyone around me is married, having their 1st, 2nd, and 3rd children or is engaged. I am so truly happy for my friends yet it is so very difficult at the same time. Ever since I can remember I've wanted to be a wife and mom. I did learn from the best. Even living with a mental illness most of my life, my mom is one of the most amazing woman in the world. I someday hope that I am at least half the wife and mother she has been.

I yearn so much for these things in my life. I have wonderful amazing guy friends yet I have not found that special someone. There is the brother I always wanted who has been a blessing in my life. Since getting married, we haven't been able to keep in touch like we used too. And there is a dear guy friend in my life who is going through his own struggles. He is someone that I can talk to openly and honestly about anything and everything, yet I know he is grieving the loss of his marriage so I am trying to simply be a good friend. Yet part of me wonders what God might have in store for us. I know that if it is meant to be, it will happen BUT that is so much easier said than done.

I trust that this will happen in God's timing and not my own. But that too is so much easier said than done. At 35 years old, I am so ready. Some of my friends have tried to talk me into doing foster care or adopting. I have prayed about it for a long time. And really think that I could see myself doing it sooner rather than later if that is what the Holy Spirit has in store for me. Perhaps that is how I am meant to be a mom! I know it won't be easy but I believe and trust that God would place people into my life that would walk with me on this journey.

This is something I yearn so deeply for and I find myself blogging about it so often. There is something about writing my thoughts down and putting it out there. I just wish that my prayers, my yearnings, my longings would come true...sooner rather than later.

For now, I trust in the one who calls and claims me as a beloved child of God. For now, I trust in the one who promises to never leave us or forsake us. For now, I trust that it will happen in God's timing and not my own.

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