This afternoon I had the privilege of hanging out at church while the SS kids practiced for the SS Christmas program! As they sang the words "Peace to all the Earth," I wanted to cry as I thought of the families in CT who won't hear their babies voices again! Such a senseless act! I want to cry yet the tears simply won't come! Why?!? Why won't the tears fall from my face? Is it because I've cried too many tears over violent acts like this in my thirty years on this Earth? Is it because I'm numb and cannot understand why 20 innocent lives were taken way too soon from this Earth?
Yesterday and today I found myself thinking about and remembering all my friends who are parents! I can understand why you needed to hug and hold them last night and today! I found myself telling them to give their children an extra hug or cuddle just for me! I'm not a parent myself yet I yearn to be so deeply! And then I wonder do I really want to be? Of course I do!
But what world will my future child enter into? A world strewn with sinful people...a sinful world! Yet what I do know is that love....God's love...always wins!
I understand that is hard to grasp in light of yesterday's events! But what I do know and believe with every fiber of my being is that God was there yesterday! God didn't allow the events to unfold but as they unfolded God was there...holding and embracing each precious victim. God sent Jesus into the world and Jesus proclaims "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these!"
As I write this blog post, I find myself typing as my fingers dance across the keyboard yet I still find that these words are inadequate! Why can I not find the words? Why won't the tears fall? How do we know that God's love always wins?
God sent God's Son as this precious gift who is born in a manger in Bethlehem and then later dies the ultimate death for us and our sins! This child comes as the light in the midst of the darkness and now more than ever we need this light to come!
So even when my words are inadequate I find myself turning to Scripture and letting the sighs rise up to God. "With sighs too deep for words to express...."
Or in these words, Lord listen to your children praying, bring us love, bring us power, bring us peace!"
And finally, maybe, the tears I so deeply want to cry will fall from my face knowing we live in a sinful and sin-filled world but that God in Gods love for us all ALWAYS wins!! Perhaps that is a place for us to begin and cling to in the coming days!