This post was inspired by a fruitful conversation I had today at lunch with a colleague/trusted friend!
It's something that I have thought about a lot over the course of my life. As many of you, my faithful readers know, I have lived with a parent who has lived her whole life with a mental illness. Mom has never let her illness get in the way of who she is and living her life. She is one of the most faith-filled women I know! However she has lived in a nursing home/assisted care facility for almost the last 15 years. The conversation started when my colleague asked a very in depth question which led to an even more in depth conversation!
We started talking about family of origin stuff! It got me thinking about myself and who I am! I often times get emotional when sharing my story but as we talked it came to my attention that it wasn't necessarily about mom's illness but rather the things I have lost in the course of that illness. Her illness is part of my history and is deeply rooted in who I am as a person. But what exactly does that look like? And why am I the way I am etc?
As we talked, this dear colleague/trusted friend made me realize that I have gained so much from my mom. She is one of the most faith filled woman I know. She is kind and compassionate and caring. (Which he pointed out are some of my deepest traits as well!) But the reality is I have lost things too(which isnt bad just different!)How would life be different?
As my mind spins and continues to process our conversation, I am so thankful for the conversation. I also am thankful for some words that were bestowed upon me during this conversation as well. He told me about a Greek word (which I am blanking on at the moment) which basically translates "Know Thy Self." Wow......powerful insightful words...how true is that for all of us. How critical are we of ourselves? So critical and yet God places people in our lives who bless us beyond words...beyond ways we could ever imagine. I am reminded of a conversation I had with a dear friend who told me "You dont realize how much of a blessing you are to others." (Hmmm.....perhaps God was trying to enlighten me to who I am; to who I was created to be through this friend!)
May we all strive to "Know Thy Self!"