Sunday, May 27, 2012

What's Up Holy Spirit?

For awhile now, I have been praying and contemplating about a topic that is extremely dear to my heart. Those who know me well know that I deeply yearn to have a family and to be a mom. It's something I have dreamed about and wanted for a really long time now. In September, I will celebrate my 34th birthday. I know 34 isn't that old but for me it means yet another year has passed where I haven't found my Mr. Right and haven't been able to start my family. My biological clock is absolutely 100% ticking! And as that clock ticks, I find myself praying and trying to figure out what God is calling me to do!

Several months ago a dear friend texted me after a foster care meeting at her church. She immediately thought of me. I was humbled by the fact that she thought of me. There was (and I believe still is) such a need. She thought I would be a perfect match. Her comment opened my heart to praying about it. Around the same time, another dear friend and her family announced that they were beginning an adoption journey. And also at that same time, a colleague and I began to talk about it as well. This colleague was very up front and reminded me that society is different now and I don't have to find my Mr. Right in order for my dream of being a mom to come true. The first friend who brought this up confirmed this when she told me about journeys of two of her single friends: one who is adopting and another who was doing IVF and had just found out she was pregnant. Then I visited with another friend who happens to be parent support foster care. In the midst of all of these stories and reminders of adoption, I found myself blogging and praying, praying, praying. The blogging and prayer allowed me to put it all into God's hands!

I hadn't really thought about it much lately. And then again tonight, a friend messaged me and was like,"Have you ever thought about foster care or foster adoption!? Inside I found myself laughing while on the outside, I was like, "Ok Holy Spirit are you trying to tell me something? Is this a sign from God?." My friend and I chatted for a little while about. She shared two blogs about adoption with me. I found myself reading their stories. And once again wondering what God is telling me! Is God trying to tell me something?

I'm not sure what my journey holds but what I do know is there are a lot of fears and unanswered questions. But then I also believe there are going to be many joys and possibly even peace if God is calling me to follow on this journey. I am thankful for friends who tell me how AMAZING of a mother I will be! I am thankful for this blog and my faithful readers who allow me to be honest and flesh this all out. But mostly I am thankful for a God who I can trust in and who will show me the way; who will let me know what God is calling me to do!

1 comment:

  1. Kelly Ylitalo11:48 PM

    Tara,

    I pray about these things all of the time too, and I'm 37. Sometimes, I feel as if I have been praying to find a Christian husband and to have a family together all of my life, or at least since I was 17. That's twenty years of praying. At times, I am afraid it will never happen. Marrying and adopting children are my heart's deepest desire. I'll be praying for you as you continue you to discern what the Spirit has in store for you. Please pray that he would help me with this too. HUGS! Kelly

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